Sam

[skydark]

Sam is my buddy at work. Sam is refered to as the 'Batman'. He works in a dimly lit little office occupied by 4 computers and a image setter and he likes it that way. He eats lunch in the breakroom alone with the lights out. He wears something black almost every day and more often than not it has a bat symbol on it. He is taking classes in typography and design to further his education and every class assignment he shows me has a bat worked into it somewhere. He's tall and broad and italian with a ponytail and several cool, short leather jackets.

I so want to be him.

********************

The next morning found Kamree bundled against the chill. Pajamas he rarely wore, his slippers, his long robe and a large cup of coffee. He was on the pool deck, in the enclosed part, peering into the immense salt-water pool.

Aeris was at the bottom.

While this might be disturbing to some it was not to Kamree. Aeris was a sea elf, a waterbreather and a hang-over wuss. He always ended up in the bottom of the pool. The penthouses massive pool was divided into two sections. One end for fun and sun and one end under a glass enclosure and mildly heated through the winter for royal hangovers.

Kamree tried to wave but doubt Aeris saw anything. He looked to be curled up all fetal. Kamree sighed and sipped his coffee. His darling was a man of many great things, but his best thing was over indulgence.

And here we part ways with our narrative for a moment as Kamree explains:
Hello my darling public, it's me, Kamree Blackfell. I have been asked to explain to you all about sea elves. You see, I'm something of an expert having dated this one [waves hand at pool] for quite a number of years. His name is Aeris, no last name, and he is the son of King Azrael of the Steep Kingdom. That makes him a prince. I'm very proud of that fact. In fact I like to rub it in people's faces.

There are two things that are common to all royal sea elves. First is, they come in colors! Yes, all kinds of colors. Aeris is fetching foam green; he has adorable little spots that go all the way down to his perfect rump. In contrast his royal babysitter, Typhoon, is a hideous orange with big tawny stripes on her back and I can't tell if the go down to her butt because believe me I'm never bothering too look. The second is that if you are colored and spotty or stripy then you can breathe water! It's a neat trick. You grow little gill things in your neck and you can just do the fish thing. Hence when my darling gets all cranky and hung over he likes to go to the bottom of his pool and pout. I know he does it just so I can't tell him I told him so, well until he gets out that is.

Now you'll notice that I said there were two things common to all royal sea elves. There are sea elves that aren't royalty! They are the coast dweller all around and on the island of the Steep. They are all part of the Steep Kingdom and King Azrael is their ruler. Now some of you may have noticed at one point or another that my Aeris isn't very tall. All the royals are 6 foot or better, except for Aeris. That is because his mother is from the non-royal strain of sea elves. She's so cute! She's little and petite and olive skinned and just too adorable for words. I just love her, her name is Taka and she's been queen since she was very young. The King is just such a romantic. So anyways, I'm getting off track here, Aeris is Azrael's only son. The Elements knows he's been trying, that's why Aeris has 6 little sisters.

Alright then [notices Aeris has surfaced and is looking at him funny] I'll give you a visual reference. [Leans down and yanks Aeris out of the pool].

Now first off, see here on his cheeks? Those are gill guards. Not his gills mind you but sort of spiky cheek fin that look very lionfish like. Or as I call him, my adorable sea monkey cheeks. When Aeris comes in extended contact with salt water his body undergoes an actual physical transformation, the gill guards are the first sign the transformation is taking place.

Now we'll move on to his eyes, see how dark they are? That's his second, or inner eyelid. It's opaque to our eyes but he can see through it, it protects his eyes from the ravages of his salt-water lair. Personally I find them repulsive. He thinks they are 'cool'. I think they make him look like Darth Vader. Well anyways, notice how much greener all his spots are? It's camouflage. Like many fish in the sea he's darker on the back [harder to spot from the air] and lighter on the belly [harder to spot looking up toward the sun]. That's why he doesn't have spots on his belly. Areas of his anatomy that aren't usually green become very dark green in sea water, these areas being his joints [knees and elbows], his ear tips and his penis and balls. Yes, that's right, all his genitalia turn this dark fungal green, it was a bit alarming at first but it all works the same. [shrug] Now we turn our attention to his perfectly manicured hands. Note the webbing, this is also a manifestation of his transformation, otherwise he couldn't hold a pen to sign all those royal declarations. Webbing, as we all know makes a duck swim faster and so holds true for the royal sea elf.

Look down, past his crotch yes thank you, to his feet. See? Big flipper feet! Aeris gets big flipper feet in salt-water! His toes are gone, could you just die? He has built in scuba fins! They make slappy squishy sounds when he's walking around the pool deck. It's like clown shoes. Alright [turns Aeris around] this is his dorsal fin. I don't know where the heck this thing goes after he dries off because it just disappears. I've felt around for it before but it must be that elvin magic because once he's dry, poof, it's history. It's dark green too and he likes to lurk with it at the beach and scare people off so we can get a preferred sun bathing spot. While he has his back to you notice his barbs! He has nasty pointy things off his elbows! They are deadly. He's poked me with them, yes of course it was an accident but they hurt! Look, look..see my arm? I have a scar, no look harder, it's right here..no wait…where did it go? Well trust me, they hurt. They're sharp. [turns Aeris back around] So there you have your basic royal sea elf. Any questions?

[Whereas Aeris grabs Kamree and falls back into the pool.]

Next installment: Back to our regularly scheduled story!

Comments

[klgaffney.livejournal.com]

*giggle* I can just see the look on poor Aeris's face....and then Kamree's when he dunks him.
oh. and thanks for the lecture, Kams.

[sky-dark.livejournal.com]

Kamree: Oh, well thank you. I'm not very good at public speaking and all [wringing out hair] but I do try and Aeris is never any help with this sort of thing. I guess he figures he'd rather everyone come up with their own conclusions but I hate leaving things to people's imaginations. I wish Aeris was more like Fen. But he can't be can he? There is only one Fen *sigh* and then Aeris wouldn't be Aeris. I think Stone is lucky, but don't tell anyone I said that. I wish Dena would get me my own icon so I stop appearing as my brother.