skydark | Drabble Requests

So cute. This may have made my day a little. ♥

"I see you're adding some roughage to your diet," Ed said, leaning in the doorway and looking up, "funny thing is how you got it hanging from the door here like it's meant to ward off vampires."

"It's not for eating, come on, it's a tradition. Look, it's pretty sad when the fake human knows these things and the real human doesn't," Greed said with a sharp grin and shrug of his shoulders.

"What are you talking about? I don't know of any tradition that makes us stick twigs to the top of door jambs, you're making this up," Ed said with a lot more confidence than he looked like he had. He glanced up at the bit of greenery again.

"You really don't know?" Greed asked, leaning back on a nearby table, folding his arms across his chest. "You're not shitting me here or anything, right? You mean I have one over on the famous Edward Elric?"

"No because there is nothing to have over me," Ed said, baring his own, non-pointy teeth. "This is just another one of your bullshit pranks. So tell me, Mr. Knows Human Traditions, just what is this twig for?"

Greed stood up straight, unfolded his arms, laced his fingers together and extended his arms all the way out and cracked his knuckles. The he rolled his head on he shoulders a minute, cupped his hand and breathed into it and sniffed to check his breath.

"Well?" Ed said, starting to feel he'd finally called one right.

"I'm getting to it," Greed said. Then he sauntered over, grabbed Ed by his upper shoulders and covered Ed's mouth with his own. He kissed him with satisfaction, with vindication and with a lot of tongue. Ed squirmed in surprised outrage, so he kissed him harder with 'hold still dammit' and finally Ed complied. When Ed finally stopped strugging to get away and started struggling to breath, Greed let him go.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Ed howled, dragging his sleeve across his lips.

"The twig," Greed said, with an easy shrug of his shoulders. "You might want to look it up, it's called Misletoe. It's from your own species heritage, way back in the dim past when they liked to spread disease by mouth or something, how should I know, I'm not the genuine article here."

"I'll find out what this is really about then I'm going to missle my toe right up your ass," Ed snarled, turning to storm off presumably for the nearest reference material at hand.

It's so cute! I love it when Greed calls himself a fake human and Ed a real one. This was cute, adorable, funny and all around awesome ^^

Heh, I think I'm the first one requesting het. XD Is that okay? If so, I'd really like some Ed/Sheska. Something cute and fluffy. <3

Aw, that's totally my Ed-het-pairing too. XD

Ed came streaking down the path, shedding clothes as he hit the dock. He made a magnificent leap at the end, tucked and hugged his knees as he plummeted toward the water.

"CANNONBALL", he shrieked in manic glee as he descended.

Al and Winry, all ready in said water, both widened their eyes in terror and Al heroically managed to shove Winry to one side before his face met his brothers butt and they both went under.

Ed popped up like a cork, then seemed to fish around under the waters surface and then dragged his gasping, struggling sibling up as well.

"Did you see that?! Didja?! Did you see the air clearance I got there?!" He asked Al, grinning in his face.

Al gagged and sputtered, slapping around to shove his brother off and wipe at his eyes. Ed laughed and let himself be slapped away; that is when he turned and noticed Winry there, looking at him with a small scowl.

"WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! THE FUCK IS SHE HERE?!" and Ed crossed his arms in front of him under the water and sunk down to his neck, panting and wide eyed himself.

"Well, if you want my opinion," Winry said mildly, "you get a 5 on the air clearance and a negative 3 on hitting all in the face with your naked butt, so in the end, that cannonball was worth a 2," and she folded her arms.

"WINRY, GO BACK TO THE HOUSE, WHAT THE HELL? WHO TOLD YOU TO BE HERE?" Ed shrieked, feeling his balls try to draw up into his body to hide.

"I told her to be here," Al said, now somewhat recovered. "You know, for old times sake, only I didn't know your nostalgia was going to include skinny dipping."

Ed kept trying to sink lower, but he had this nasty habit of breathing and lake water wasn't exactly conducive to that sort of thing. "The hell, the hell," he said, giving Al the evil eye.

"You're soaking your leg in pond water," Winry pointed out. "That's gonna need some repairs probably, and that's ok, I need money for that fancy new rachet that Arnold has down at the general store," and she grinned and winked at Ed who was like one of those fish bobbers now; red on top, white on bottom.

"I think my nose is broken," Al muttered, gingerly wiggling the appendage back and forth. "I think I'm the only person on the planet to get their nose broken by their brother's ass," he whined.

"If you stay in here to long then you'll need the entire leg replaced, and if I do that, well that's enough money for a summer getaway!" Winry grinned some more. "I know you won't get out if I stay here, so I think I'll sit on the dock until dark. What about you Al, you in?"

"For a summer getaway? Sure," Al said. "I'll sit with you." And they both slogged over to the dock and pulled themselves up to sit there.

Ed hopped around, gapping after them both, trapped by his prudishness and his brother's need for vengance.

"JERKS! AND YOU AL, YOU TRAITOR," he howled.

"It's so much fun now that he doesn't sink right away," Winry said, digging in the small bag she brought with her to pull out a deck of cards.

"Yeah he really missed swimming," Al said with an evil sort of smirk in his brothers direction.

"NOW I DON'T," he informed them.

Bwahahahahah!! Awesome!

And yay for Al heroically saving Winry from Ed's butt!! . . .Um, wow that's a sentence I never thought I'd type.

"This is depressing," Ed said, moving past the cages, stopping to peer in here and there, offering a finger to a small paw that batted at him between the bars.

"Don't think of it that way," the colonel said, also offering fingers through the bars for a puppy to chew on, "they will get nice homes soon enough."

"Where I come from you can get cats and dogs for free," Ed said, scratching under a small furred chin, "all you gotta do is wait for mating season, then there is plenty."

"Some people prefer to buy purebreeds," the colonel commented, moving on down the row, "when you pay for something you take care of it better."

"Hmph," Ed said, stepping back a bit. Then there was a loud squawk, mostly from Ed and the colonel turned around to see what the commotion was about. When Ed stepped back he put himself in range of a large parrot who decided Ed's head was just as good as it's perch on the top of it's cage, so it had made itself at home. Ed froze, but the big colorful bird spread it's wings for balance and gripped Ed's hair tightly in it's talons.

"You look like you're wearing a winged helmet," the colonel said, amused.

"Don't gawk," Ed hissed, holding stock still, "help me!"

"I don't know," the colonel said, "it's has a very large beak and I wouldn't want it to take offense or anything. I like my fingers where they are."

The big parrot tucked it's wings then, seeming to become comfortable on it's new high place, it regarded Roy frankly.

"Γειά σου," the bird suddenly said.

"HEY," Roy said, pointing, "I think it speaks Cretan!"

"Whoop de shit," Ed said quietly, "get it off!"

"Τι κάνετε," the bird sang out merrily.

"I'm pretty sure that's Cretan," Roy said, grinning. "Hello," he said to the bird, leaning forward, "Hello."

"It's putting grooves in my scalp," Ed whispered, and slowly reached to try and snag Roy's coat.

"I' μ ένα όμορφο πουλί", the parrot informed Roy and Roy seemed to shimmy with glee.

"We should buy this bird, it's amazing," Roy said.

"You don't even speak cretan," Ed said, small tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. "What the hell do you need a bird you can't understand for? For all you know it's telling you to fuck off and die, which, if it is, I support it," Ed gasped.

"FUCK," the parrot screamed then, this brought activity from the back of the shop and a small woman came rushing forward, making clicking sounds. She deftly coaxed the parrot off of Ed's head and returned him to the top of his cage. Then she turned and fixed them both with a steely eye.

"OUT," she said, in heavily accented amestrian, "we don't teach our birds to say such things and we don't tolerate visitors who do!"

Ed and Roy let themselves be hussled out in front of her dimiutive rage and they stood on the sidewalk, peering in the door.

"Well damn," Ed said, "now I want to buy the bird."

Am I too late to request some Havoc/Fuery, anything fluffy with Fuery getting flustered and glowing bright red would be fab :P

HAH, it speaks Cretan! Fantastic.

They're such cute bastards to each other sometimes.

I want to use that "missile my toe right up your ass" line on someone this Christmas!!

HAHAHAHA, poor Al, finally gets his face back only to have Ed cannonball on it.

Me too. I'm stuck on "slick Al" in all its connotations.

"Well, are you a man?" Darius asked, leaning in close and grinning in Ed's face. "After all the trouble we took to lug this keg all the way out here you're going to wimp out on us now?"

"THE FUCK YES I'M A MAN," Ed snarled back, leaning in until he was almost nose to nose with Darius, the he glanced down to the mug in his hand. "What does drinking possibly stolen beer have to do with it?" he said.

Darius lifted the cup then, pressed it to Ed's lips and Ed sputtered, snatched the cup and took a step back. Then he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and up ended the cup, letting some of the beer slosh down his chin while some of it went down his throat. Then he coughed and half gagged and Darius thumped his back hard enough to almost bring the beer back up.

"That's the spirit, let me get you another one," Darius said, snagged the cup from Ed's lax grip and went to refill it.

"You are so easily goaded," a voice came from out of the dark beyond the light of the campfire where Darius, Ed and Heinkle had parked for the night. Greed slinked in and seated himself gracefully, crossed legged by the fire, he turned to look at Ed again. "Did you like it?" he asked.

Now Ed didn't have any true experience with beer. He'd had it offered before, sloshed on him before and thrown in his face before, but in all these endeavors he'd failed to get it into his mouth. So this being his first experience with a lukewarm version, he didn't find it all to wonderful. However, the MAN comment still stung, and because he did have this vague idea that men drank this sort of thing, he was loathed to admit he didn't really think he cared for it.

"It was fine," he sniffed, looking down his nose at Greed, sitting there grinning up at him. "And I wasn't goaded, I was thristy."

Darius returned then, another cup in hand along with a cup for himself, he thrust it at Ed, grinning proudly.

"Our little alchemist is growing up," he said.

Ed, already into mid-chug, almost drown himself in order to try and spit out some derogatory gorilla remark in retaliation to the further slight on his manhood by imply he was height challenged. This time Greed got up to pat his back.

"Just breath," Greed said merrily. "There will be plenty of opportunity to threaten Darius' life later."

Ed squared his jaw, narrowed his eyes and finished chugging his second beer. He'd be damned if a monkey, a lion and a... quasi-human thing were going to out-man him at anything.

Several of these man-proving chugs later Ed was flushed rosy, grinning at anything said to him and sitting on the ground next to Greed and sort of leaning on him. It was a happy, sloppy lean and Greed himself was looking bored and yawned occassionally and questioning the wisdom of letting Ed continue to try and one up men who were three times his size in a beer drinking contest. In fact, it was so boring he gave into his other side and dropped off to sleep. Ling squinted at the fire light a moment before realizing who was leaning on him and leaned back on his hands so that Ed tipped right over into his lap.

Ed blinked up at him and Ling smiled down.

"Hi," Ling said. "What are you doing tonight?"

"'m drinkin'," Ed informed him happily, "ish fun."

"It looks like fun," Ling said almost whistfully. Oh the shameful things that went through his mind while he sat there, a lovely drunk alchemist snuggling in his lap. "I know something else that's fun, too."

"Oh?" Ed said, drowsy and squirming, "whuzzat?"

Ling sat forward a bit, slid a hand under Ed's head to lift it from his lap and gave a demonstration in mouth to mouth resucitation without the resucitation part.

"Oh geeze," Darius said, "here we go."

"What is it with you and Ed anyways?" Heinkle said from the opposite side of the fire. "I mean I can smell the pheremones, sure, but do you always have to act on them?"

Ling pulled up from the kiss and Ed pawed at his face and hair, trying to pull his head back down.

"You don't have to stay here and watch," Ling informed them, letting Ed tug him back down and try to swallow his tonsils.

"Where else are we gonna go?" Heinkle asked.

"The fire, food and beer are here," Darius informed him.

Ling pulled up again, lips now getting a bit red from where Ed was biting on them.

"I don't understand the aversion to true love," Ling got out before Ed shoved his fingers into his mouth and used the grip to pull his face back down.

"I wouldn't go that far," Heinkle said, "more like teenage hormones."

"I remember young and horny, hell I remember horny without having the young part attached to it," Darius said thoughtfully, taking antother drink.

Ling managed to tear away again, licked his lips and half winced as Ed bit his chin and grabbed at his ears.

"You don't understand my true intentions; after all, I'm a prince," Ling said before Ed wrapped both arms around his neck and yanked him back down, then Ed tried to get a leg over him, too.

"We understand alright," Heinkle snorted. "We understand you're not picky."

Darius tilted his head, wrinkled his nose. "Doesn't that postion kinda hurt? Isn't his left foot steel? You're going to get spine damage like that."

"Anything for love," the prince gasped heroically.

Darius and Heinkle shrugged at each other, watching the two combatants across the fire wrestle for dominance.

"I guess that answers that gay when drunk question," Heinkle said and Darius nodded and went to get them another beer.

Edited 2010-12-04 18:01 (UTC)

They are such goobers. ♥ ♥ ♥ The last line just about killed me.

Ha! My favourite part was Greed cupping his hand and breathing into it.

That was awesome. I love how evil Al and Winry are to him.

I'm thinking you should write it *wiggles eyebrows*

You rocked that! I cackled so hard at Ling showing up to hit on drunky Ed, and Darius and Heinkel giving peanut gallery commentary, and the last line (but is it "gay when drunk"? I suppose it means much the same).

Thank youuuuuu!

Two thumbs up for the last line!

yeah I noticed that and fixed it but apparently not before you read it XD

yer welcome <3

I think the writing mojo is back, you know. These are all hilarious. Do you feel more inspired?

Yes! That's my other Ed pairing, besides Roy/Ed. <3 I've only been able to find a few fics for it (at least one of which is yours, I think), but I really like it.

And I like your icon. <3 I need to upload the Ed/Sheska one that I made earlier. XD

Edited 2010-12-05 00:30 (UTC)

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